Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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