Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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