If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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