there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize