just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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