It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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