i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize