The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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