it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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