It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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