He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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