are you still at the devil's house?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Randomize
