Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
