I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
