Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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