Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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