i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
