oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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