No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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