you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize