when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
