Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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