Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
