forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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