dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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