one two three fourrrrnication!
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize