I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
