Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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