U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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