You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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