I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize