Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
