well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
