It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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