That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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