Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I have already put on my inside pants.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
