I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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