well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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