Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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