I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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