I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
