It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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