kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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