She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
