I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
