i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
