i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
