Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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