Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
