are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
