why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
