i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
