he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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