is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
God I need to hump something, right now.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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