The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
