i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
