Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize