this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
