I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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