are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
