a queef is a wish your heart makes.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
