"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
