If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
We left an ass print on the piano.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
