Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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