Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
