I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
