You're completely useless in the revolution.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
