the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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