is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize