How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
