what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize